Your Trugmakers February News
Well orders have quietened down as usual at this time of year, I have stock once more and we can take a few days off! So Rome here we come.
And here we are -
Arrived in Rome at 7:30 P.M. by train from the airport - One of the 89 Taxi driver leaps forward grabbing our bags. As the area surrounding the Terminal was indelibly mapped on my brain from the hours spent studying maps and walking the streets on 'Google Earth' at home, I politely retrieved them and informed him that "we don't need a Taxi, our Hotel is only 2 minutes walk". But! (Why is there always a but?). According to my topographical studies, on exiting the Rome terminal, cross the road, two streets up, turn left, hotel 25 yards down the street, simple. What I didn't know was that the airport trains disembark at a completely different exit from the mainline trains! Some quarter mile away. Anyway, one and a half hours later, two extremely bad tempered, tired and thirsty visitors were completely lost. I had the foresight to carry a map of the area in the extremely unlikely event that that this should occur, smart move eh! Problem was we had roamed completely out of the printed area on the map, so when I asked natives where we were on the map, they had less idea than us. In addition, they spoke no English! Obviously we eventually found the hotel that was 2 minutes walk local time, 2 hours Greenwich meantime. Booked in, dumped our baggage in our room and headed for the bar. Ordered two white wines, two glasses were produced that would comfortably hold a half bottle of wine in each - Result! (Another but) But, the 9 inch waisted barman put the equivalent of a level tablespoon in each glass. I've had more when waiters offers a little to taste before pouring in a restaurant at home. After clearing the hotels entire stock of white wine (true) and costing equal to the UK's gross national product, I threw the wife over my shoulder and went to bed.
THE VATICAN
If ever I could be converted to a born again Christian, the world centre of
Christianity would be the place it could have happened, but it didn't. Conversion was, to my disappointment, not on egenda. The transfer of the
euro from the ignorant tourist was the prime concern, be it Monks, Nuns,
beggars, guides, Centurions wearing Omega watches and winklepickers
(for those born after 1960, pointed shoes). February is a very 'quiet' time
for tourists and yet I have seen smaller crowds at one of Status Quo's
farewell concerts! Costing Jaqui and I £106 for entrance to see his
bungalow, the Pope must regard the Sultan of Brunei as being
destitute.
On entering the Vatican exactly the same security procedure is followed as
at airports (as one is technically entering another country). After leaving
the Sistine chapel, we strolled down a flight of steps into St.Pauls Piazza before entering St. Pauls Basilica itself. One of the most impressive buildings to see before you die. Never will, because on returning about 20 feet to the steps to enter St.Pauls we were stopped by guards and informed to re-enter we would have to pay again at the start despite showing our passes! Not happy. No-one, including our guide, pointed this out at any time.
TREVI FOUNTAIN
It is said that if you throw a bundle of 50euro notes over your left shoulder
into the Trevi fountain, you are sure to return to Rome, I didn't bother. Was
a beautiful sight though, I'm thinking of building one myself at the end of my
fish pond so I can view it without the quarter million 4 foot high Japanese
tourists and their digital Nikon cameras using 4 Duracell batteries per
minute (all relations of Rome restaraunt staff).
THE COLOSSEUM
A pile of bricks!
Ya know, life must have been a bit rough in Roman days. Looking at the
myriad of statues everywhere throughout the Vatican and the Colosseum,
virtually every person depicted in statues had various missing arms, legs,
feet and even heads. Obviously runners-up in past gladiatorial
confrontations.
Which reminds me, the main reason for my Rome visit was to view the
Gladiators weapons and outfits. To stare at the 'actual' weapons, tridents,
swords, helmets, armour, toga's etc. NONE anywhere. According to a
Japanese Roman local, there are none. When one visits the Tower of
London, armour everywhere. Gutted again!
Dyad know why the Colosseum collapsed? Gypsy scrap metal merchants
nicked all the steel ties which held it together (true). Where were the the
Grandads of the guards who stopped me entering St. Peters Basilica
back then?
LOCAL CAFE'
Small decaffeinated coffee - Small beer - one saucer of chips - two bananas - £27 00 (wouldn't hold a wedding reception here!). This establishment, like virtually every other retail outlet in Rome, is owned and staffed by Japanese. So any single ladies with a penchant for the hot blooded Italian Stallion, avoid Rome, they are all in Eastbourne running chip shops
and Prezzo's.
THE IRISH PUB
We found a small 'Irish' pub that provided good food at
relatively
fair prices, although to call it Irish was like calling a greasy spoon cafe a Bistro because it sold Heinz Spaghetti Bolognaise. The only pre-requisite in Rome to call a bar Irish was a Guinness pump and an emergency exit 3 floors up with no stairs! The staff again was entirely Japanese. Although the food was very good, it wasn't necessary, as only diners on a death wish would ever complain to the Ninja warrior waiters. Service between the pass to the table was incredibly fast as the high ceilings allowed the Bruce Lee ex-pats to leap over the seated tables of ten with ease while carrying 8 plated meals. Obviously Health and safety issues are not as stringent as the UK as there was a single low beam across the restaraunt which sadly explained why every member of staff had very flat faces!
Good points
Concierge at the hotel was very well trained in handling the guest stress attacks.
The second evening there was a very new man at the bar who obviously hadn't been instructed in the correct measures of wine given. Filled the glasses/flower vases to the top. Can't remember going to bed.
Two of which are:-
1) The Vatican obviously collects many, many millions of pounds yearly. When various disasters occur such as recently, where are the donations from the Vatican? Surely this is where we should see the church literally practice what it preaches, something constructive and worthwhile, aid for the sick and wounded food for the hungry, shelter etc. I despise the unimaginable wealth accrued by the 'Church' to give back nothing except a wave to his minions twice a week. A-la-carte food, constant pampering and, to me, unjustifiable adulation. Prayers come very cheap!
2) There was a tramp sleeping in a doorway opposite the Hotel each night that I really felt for. I texted my daughter Lori about him and she said "The poor man, he cannot afford a Hotel like you daddy, give him some money". So I gave him 15 euros (almost equivalent to 4 bananas). I asked him if he spoke English, he said "No, sorry" ???
My other daughter Stevie, said "tell him to get off his lazy butt and find work - you would"!
WHO WAS RIGHT????
All in all though, a worthwhile visit - been there done that! Will recoup the expenditure by sleeping in a doorway opposite my kindly daughters flat in Brighton!
